CAUGHT IN A SLUMP

Since I’ve been back, I admit, I’ve been caught in a slump.

Sometimes I feel as if 10 different ‘to dos’ of life bombards me like kamikazes, and my way of dealing with it is to either ignore it till the very end or just skip it altogether.

Finding inspiration or the slightest motivation to workout, call a friend to go do something, work on my bike, research graduate programs, grocery shopping, getting a haircut, finishing the book I’m halfway through, or even cooking food all seem to be this colossal obstacle.

Some call it anxiety, others call it a damsel in distress, or overwhelmed by first world problems… but I refuse to let it take a hold of me.

I’ve noticed the best thing to do, and need to remind myself each day, is that I need to take it slow.

Just last year, I had gotten pulled over for going 15 over. Obviously, I wasn’t going to get out of this one and there was no arguing it, because I really was going 15 over. The cop was a real prick at first, but as soon as he heard me own up to my mistake, he softened up and decided to write the ticket for only 5 over.

Going 5 over in Utah requires a fine for $90, and for every additional 5 mph, it increases accordingly. Which means, I would’ve been fined $270… I guess having a decent sized cleavage isn’t your only way out, but admitting to your mistake can work equally as well (but who knows, say I did have a decent sized cleavage and I owned up to my mistake, maybe I would’ve gotten out of it altogether?).

But I digress, the point of this story is, that once I was handed the ticket, and told I had to pay the fine, a part of me wasn’t even angry at the slightest bit. There was absolutely no resistance to it. That day, was the ultimate reminder, that I had to slow down.

I look at it as the $90 dollar lesson.

You see, when you’ve got 50 different things on your plate, rather than trying to deal with them all at once, putting your energy into one just logically and mathematically makes more sense.

Say you have 100% fuel for effort and you’ve got about 5 different things that are weighing you down. You can only put 20% of the effort into each task. So it’s about focusing in on one task a time. Conserve the energy, and put your all into one thing. Do it slow, there isn’t anyone except you telling yourself that you need to get 100 things done at once.

I’ve also realized that inspiration comes best through others. Those who have been where you are now, where they have failed, and how they’ve done things better, use their stories and lessons to your advantage.

Lastly, although this slump hasn’t completely worn off from my transition back to the real world, know that you are not a robot. Once can’t maintain their motivation tank at 100% 24/7. It comes in and out like waves. So when your unmotivated, or useless as I call it, do something to fuel that fire, and don’t beat yourself up for being ‘lazy’ at time. We all need breaks once in a while, just make sure your shit doesn’t linger long enough where you find yourself as the lead role in one of those sad documentaries about an overweight guy getting glued to his bed.

Slowing down is a skill, practice it daily.

~myndfuq

WHY SO CURIOUS?

First and foremost, I want to apologize for the month long hiatus from my blog posts, I needed to refuel the inspiration tank for a bit. It’s good to be back behind the keyboards again

I think what I needed more of was curiosity, the one special ingredient that puts you in the state of the here and now.

I’ve met many people from all walks of life. And for the past month, my friend and I have trekked through south east Asia, having witnessed the breathe taking canvases of mother earth, and tasted the salt of the Indian Ocean. Those are some of the things that will become stored in the pocket of memories throughout one’s journey.

However, it has been the people I’ve met, whether it be the smile that peels through the crusted surface of a garbage picker, or another fellow traveler from halfway across the world who’s story resonates a similar tone as yours, I’ve barely touched the surface of the connection one can make in one’s lifetime.

A short one month requires a lot of cramming with the motion of a 24 hour day. Upon my travel, my friend Ben who had accompanied me was one of the many people I’ve had the pleasure of knowing and had connected through a close circle of friends in my first year at University. To be honest, he was another friend I would occasionally bump into at a friend’s party, but spending one month with an acquaintance will take a course of it’s own. Our relationship had evolved from someone you would occasionally high five to looking out for each other’s lives (Cambodia will put you in some life-threatening situations haha).

Why did I want to travel? I guess as many would put it, I was looking for something beyond me, in search of the break from the routines of life, mental clarity by putting my feet into the fears of the unknown as ironic as that sounds…

I’ve been reminded this past month that you really do have to expect the unexpected. I’ve gained a brother through this trip, friends, where life serendipitously placed into your life at the perfect time and place for you to meet and share stimulating conversations and uncontrollable laughs with. I’ve broken old lenses, gained a new outlook on group’s of people who’s life I wouldn’t have taken a first glance at otherwise, without being exposed to their stories.

I’ve learned that all it takes is a single bite of bad food to question the tenacity of your physical state of being. I’ve learned that Ben can’t stand the taste of boiled fish eggs and scorpions, and a simple “why not” opens the door to everlasting experiences and memories. I’ve learned that not all French people hate Americans (only kidding!), and a smile given, eventually comes back to you whether you’re in Bali or Maine. That it’s okay to have an erotic desire for a girl, only to be deceived by the very fact that she is actually a he (lady boy), and 99% of other men would fall victim to this fuckery.

The only way to break past beliefs about oneself is by creating new ones. That’s how growth happens. So I encourage anyone who is looking for that next state of evolution, even someone meandering at the thought of it, to test the waters, connect with new experiences (no, mushrooms is not an option) and people, use chopsticks and see the value of sharing a meal and a drink with strangers.

I’ve learned that vitality comes from looking outwardly from oneself. True connection happens when shared, and happiness is best when it’s a communal affair as well.

Keep in mind, it’s how you travel that will make the difference. There is absolutely no difference from staying at a five star resort on the keys of Florida versus an island in the Philippines. I’m not saying it’s wrong to enjoy the luxury of spa treatments and Italian buffets, but making the effort to immerse yourself in a dialogue with the locals is a far more enriching experience.

It’s difficult to put in words what I’ve taken from this trip, but through it, I can say I have become a better person. What matters most today is that you’ve become a better person than you were yesterday. That’s why curiosity is the motivator of thirst for knowledge.

As I sit here on my bed, back to the normalcy of life, I’m grateful to know that I’ve gained more than I had ever intended to. With that said, I know you contain an irrepressible amount of wealth that should be shared with others. Aside from any fun disease you wish to spread, I encourage you to share that special something with another, whether local or far across the world.

It’s a funny thing; you never hear anyone in their old age say, “God, I wished I worked more and traveled less”, and as a woman we had met told Ben and I, that the single most important thing we can do at our young age is to pursue this thirst for adventure.

There isn’t one single value you get from exploring the world, the options are endless and unpredictable. So I hope one day, you can turn that dial from curiosity to reality, and invite the opportunity for the unexpected into your life.

~myndfuq

BEAUTY EP. 2

Beauty…

Ahh, what a soothing word. 

I’ve heard the term beauty in various scenarios, whether it’s skin deep, or if you can find it in everything…

But as Richard Seymour would put it, do we feel or think beauty.

How do we interpret this word? Do we truly feel it in the core of us, or is it something we mix up with pleasure? 

Jeff Bauman, as you know, was one of the many victims of the tragic Boston Marathon bombing that took place a couple weeks back. The Associated Press had captured an image of him moments after the bombs had gone off as he was being strolled away on a wheelchair. On that fateful Monday morning, he had become the face of tragedy. The image, besides the torn limbs hanging by his skin, goes deeper as you look into the face of Bauman. 

What I saw on his face, was an epoch of a moment in his life where his future desires, plans, his identity, relationships, perspectives, would all shift by a single spark.  

You can see the human spirit completely drained out by the loss of blood and the hopelessness and disbelief that plagues his eyes, as if he’s comatosed in his worst nightmare. 

Little do people know, that the man to right of him, is Carlos Arredondo, an anti-war protestor who had lost a son during the Iraq War back in 2004. Not too long ago, he had lost his other son from suicide, as he had battled depression for years following his brother’s death. 

Arredondo had gone to the marathon in support of the fallen marine and support a suicide awareness group that was also running the race. So we see two people who’s life consumed by torment from complete opposite ends of the spectrum, brought together by a string of events. Arredondo is pinching  Bauman’s severed artery in the picture, and it’s through his quick reaction, Baumon gets to live and tell his story. 

With that said, when you look at the picture, do you see misfortune, or as absurd as it may sound, do you interpret beauty in it’s poignant form.

Beauty lives in the realm of paradox. It can take multiple shapes and leaves it’s gate open, what’s beautiful to me may be ugly to you. 

You can wear your favorite summer dress, and feel beautiful. Or you can listen to Joshua Groban hit a high note and think it sounds beautiful. 

Some of stretch this concept of beauty and make it cathartic as Jason Silva puts it. Beauty is supposed to make us feel complete. And by this cliche terminology, I mean that it’s supposed  to take every emotional response and it’s totality sums up to exemplify beauty. It takes pain to become beautiful. A ballerina doesn’t go about dancing beautifully without the painful lessons of mastering a pirouette. 

It’s very difficult to put it in words for me. I’m not a master philosopher or psychologist that sets out to interpret this word through existential apprehension or collect data from a sample of college student’s systematic ranking on facial symmetry. 

But it’s this longing for permanence that Silva notes in this short video that really struck out to me. He put’s it beautifully on how we idealize this word from centuries ago to even today. 

You may have to watch it a couple times, as he densely packs his theory in such finely tuned words, that it may take a little to soak in the meaning. Keep your ears open.

~myndfuq

 

EXPLORATION

When you explore, you expand, you open up the possibilities for your imagination to lead somewhere unexpected.

It’s about cultivating every moment.

I tell myself, wherever you are, adventure is out there…

At times, I forget what it is that’s actually important. It’s the things that money can’t buy. At the end of the day, money, is only a tool. Ultimately, it’s up to you to see, explore, the moments that are presented to you.

Look into the faces of each people, be curious. Every face has a story. Through each wrinkle, smile, laughter, their uniqueness shines.

Explore.

You don’t know what tomorrow has in store for you.

Explore the in-congruency of life, see from multiple angles. It’s ok to get off track once in a while, it breaks routine, and one sided lens.

Today is a gift, and a story is being written. Get out there. See what stories are waiting to be written in your life.

~myndfuq

 

 

 

LOVE, DEFINE THIS PLEASE

How we define love is nothing short of a mystery. It’s pure astonishment. We each have our own stories and perception of what love is. We take this concept that holds the cosmos in a four letter word and chisel away at it’s majesty and try to define it. Instead, we find examples. We approximate opposed to understand. It’s to each his own.

What is love? …baby don’t hurt me.

I sometimes get tongue tied by the expression of it. It can be Mr. Right, it can be the inhalation of a blossoming flower on the eve of Spring, it can be the smell of coffee after a brisk morning jog, it can be the genuine act of altruism…

I’m not sure how you might define love, maybe you can play a scenario of it in your thoughts. If your scratching at your head trying to scrutinize such notion, Jason Silva is here to help. I think he demonstrates some prime examples of what love can play out to be in this short clip.

~myndfuq

YUMMY

WHAT DO YOU WANT IN YOUR TWENTIES?

I hear you.

In your twenties, we’re all about making our mark on this world. We search for a cause, that keeps us fueled each day to work upon an investing plan. WE search for our soulmate who’s outstretched arms will save us from the curse of single-hood. We tie knots early, settle on careers once our academic caps are tossed in the air, and the curiosity that once echoed throughout our childhood years are stained by the passing on of the opportunity to experience new beginnings and tales.

What keeps us together? It’s the obsession of Kim Kardashian’s butt being overtly big from her pregnancy, hashtags that reads ‘#mybestfriendsarebetterthanyours’, and re-writing the rules of being independent!

So what do you want?

You want to be stable financially, drop the hangovers from 3 days a week to 2, consistent sex, a cozy loft, a shelf full of your favorite boots.

You want the reassurance that at 24, your best friends aren’t making 50k. You’re still worried whether or not you should probably get a check up, but you out of all people wouldn’t be the one at risk. I mean c’mon, it’s you, you’re invincible.

You want the ex that still hits you up on that random weekend night. The two roommates who will stay up with you in the wee AM, dial turnt up to ‘party’.

You want the 401k, the fully paid-off car, and dental insurance. You want a butt load of tumblr followers, at least 6 hours of sleep, that butt you once had in high-school, that snack in the cupboard when you’re out of grocery (we’ll keep it decently healthy), oh and $money$, did I already mention that?

You want a best friend you can call who’s always down for the cause, that guy you’re not really that into texting you to hangout. You want lean muscles for that one moment at the pool, when the sun tastefully beats down on your bronzed skin, time anchors in as you slowly peel away your v-neck as the jaws drop with each exquisite exposure of your hard earned abs.

You want the gossips that shows your a sane human being, or at least compared to them. You want the next cutest thing, that you’ll seem indifferent of in two weeks. You want that dear person to hold hands with, as you play fetch with your Siberian Husky.

You want a leather jacket.

Your want more money, wait, I’m sorry I already said that.

You want to travel, you want a weekend. You want Jack & Coke or a glass of wine, and peace of mind for once.

That’s a lot to ask for from a twentysomething…

Well, after reading that short list, you come to a conclusion that you don’t possess even a third of it, you’re alright.

You need to look at yourself and laugh a little bit. Laugh at yourself for not owning a leather jacket or having only 8 twitter followers from the 6 months that you’ve had your account.

Humor, even in your self-depreciating form, is an instant remedy. It’s the quickest way to shift your paradigm.

Find some time for humor each day, don’t take things so seriously, especially in your twenties. It’s a decade that’s meant for you to find what it is that you want, but more importantly what you truly need.

~myndfuq

DECISION TO CHANGE

You want something different in your life?

You need to be willing to change your perspective.

A shift from thought to outcome.

You don’t get drafted into the pros and become MVP in one day.

It takes time to build results. So if you’re working on creating a better you, you need to take the first step and make that decision to change.

My last post was about getting out of habits.

To get out of your habit, you need to be willing to become vulnerable.

This means willing to take the leap. Being in an uncomfortable place. You’re decision to do this will yield new opportunities. With this, results will show.

So if you’re not willing to get out of your comfort zone for a bit, your decision to change will go nowhere and you’ll be the same you that your sick and tired of.

For once in your life, be willing to try something different.

If you’ve been dwelling on it long enough, it’s obviously fucking important to you.

Many people like the idea of change, but aren’t willing to place their stake on the ground and break barriers. They’re scared because they become comfortable in their little hole of sameness.

So if you know your worth, go out and get it. Moaning and crying in your own piss will get you nowhere.

Results come from both small and big decisions, and must be carried out daily.

Making a change as a daily habit will be followed by a lot awkward and uncomfortable situations, so embrace those moments because they’ll help you grow.

Remember, excellence comes from habit, so stop letting the filth take control of your life, and bring back the power you once had.

~myndfuq

 

 

GET UNSTUCK

SLEEP.

I could use more of this.

If there is one thing I need more of, is sleep. I’ve needed this since the 3rd grade and like poop on shoe it’s stuck with me since.

We all have a few bad habits we try to break, only to have it come back in full circle.

We get stuck, it becomes such a routine that we begin to identify with the notion that it’s just who we are.

You may find yourself with the same type of emotionally unavailable person over and over again, or find yourself in May, glued to the couch with a sleeve of Oreos and a jug of milk…

There goes the 15 pounds I was supposed to shed by June.

So we get stuck. Our bad habits becomes a pile of filth we learn to deal with, it becomes a normal staple of our life, and our good intentions begin to dissipate.

Before you even attempt round 50 of breaking that habit of yours, you need to ask yourself one crucial question…

What’s the payoff?

What is it about engaging in negative self-talk that keeps you coming back to it? Where is your constant strive for perfection leading you? What do you get out of the continuous chase of someone who only ends up hurting you?

Once you figure out that the payoff comes up short, you’ll realize that you have that choice of getting unstuck.

You need to realize that habits do not consist of changing a single action. Habits are a product of multiple forms.

The key here is noticing that very first move you take upon initiating that habit. It’s easy to go for that cigarette or look into the eyes of your next adulteress partner because it’s so natural to us. But the next time you find yourself doing so, ask yourself, what’s the payoff?

We’ve always been told that changing habits stems from a complete shift in the repetition of a behavior. But you have to understand why that cigarette, adulteress, or bacon bits begins to become your happy place.

These habits have literally meshed in with the idea of satisfaction, as if it’s the gravy to your life.

These actions become automatic, and that’s where the danger lies. We feel lonely, anxious, or neurotic one second, and to get that out of our head, we latch on to a behavior or routine that will equate into this idea of a reward or our happy place.

So we begin to mesh the action with a reward (think cigarette=happiness). They undoubtedly become a representation of each other.

Start focusing on that initial moment. Once you’re aware, then you change the routine.

Whatever it is we do, there is always a byproduct of it. Our ultimate goal in life is to be happy.

To get unstuck means your interpretation of what makes you truly happy needs to do a complete 180. Begin to associate a healthier environment, healthier food choices, or healthier people, with what true happiness is.

Remember to always reward yourself during the process. I’m not saying you go on a 5 mile run and treat yourself to a double-cheeseburger, what I’m saying is each time you notice your change in routine, pat yourself on the back with some positive self-talk.

Sure, maintaing a new/wholesome habit isn’t easy, which is why you start small.

It begins by designing a new platform for what you equate bliss to.

~myndfuq